Why We Won't Let our Children Cry It Out

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I figured since I shared some sleep tips that help make bedtime easier with a newborn I would go into detail of why we won't do cry it out (CIO) with our children.

Note: this is in no way of judgement for families who use the CIO method. Do what works best for your family and your sanity. We are all just trying to stay afloat with this parenting gig.

We did briefly try CIO with Sophia and it was brutal for us and didn't feel natural. Sophia also suffered from colic the first few months of her life so her crying often times were for reasons she didn't even know herself. It was a tough season and I spoke on it a little in this post. Sophia also was not a good sleeper, she woke up multiple times to nurse during the night until she was about 14 months old. Nap-times were also difficult and required this lengthy routine to get her down but looking back I wouldn't trade giving her all those extra cuddles and nursing. She needed me even if it was hard and exhausting (and it was) but I chose to be there for her in whatever way she needed and it did not affect her ability to self-soothe or sleep on her own as so many people "warned" me would happen as she got older.

At 15 months old, we transitioned Sophia to her own room and it was so smooth and seamless. She maybe cried all of 3 minutes before going to sleep. By 16 months, we were able to put her in her crib while she was still awake for nap and bed time and she would lay there and talk to herself or play for a little bit before falling asleep (this still happens to this day at 22 months). Sophia always wakes up in the happiest of moods and just starts playing and talking in her crib while she patiently waits for us to get her. I share all this to show you can successfully transition your older child to their own room without using the CIO method. I truly believe that by answering to Sophia's call as much as I was physically able to and nursing her on demand is what made her feel confident and secure to be in her own room because she knows mommy will be there when she needs it.

Besides CIO not feeling natural to us, I also read a Facebook post about orphan newborns, you can read it here. I cried in heartbreak when I read it and from then on I knew I could never do CIO especially as someone who lost their parents as a child. I know what it is like not having my biological mom and dad not be there as they both died before I was even out of elementary school (I had a great mom that raised me so don't get me wrong here but it still isn't quite the same).

Now this doesn't mean my children never cry. They do cry, a lot in fact, haha. But I would never intentionally make them have to soothe themselves, if they need me I will be there. Sometimes I am not able to get to them right away because balancing two kids and a house is tough but I talk to them and let them know mommy is here and will get them in a moment or I sing to them even if I can barely her myself think because of how loud their cries may be but they will always know mommy is here to comfort them whenever they need and as best as I physically can in that moment. So if CIO doesn't feel natural to you or you just do not want to go that route, don't feel pressured to. You are not spoiling your child, you are giving them the confidence they need that you will be there for them.

Did you feel pressured to CIO because of the old wives tales of spoiling your child? Or did CIO work for your family? What method did(do) you use to help your child(ren) have better sleeping habits?