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Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts

Friday, January 1, 2021

I Quit Nursing School

I Quit Nursing School


As I played with the words to share my decision, I realized this may be a very unpopular decision especially in our modern society with high value for career minded women. However I want to be very clear:

I am not JUST a stay at home mom. 


I CHOOSE to be a stay at home mom. 


We make sacrifices in our lifestyle that allow me to spend this time with our children and I wouldn’t want it any other way. You don’t have to understand it and it’s okay if you choose differently for your family and if you don’t have the choice, my heart goes out to you.


I don’t know about you but I process things better with details. I like to know the overall picture which gives me a better understanding so let’s rewind a bit.


My first few years of college, I worked in childcare and ultimately changed my major from nursing to education right when I was about to start the actual nursing program. I loved teaching and being there with these kiddos as they learned and discovered something new (I was an assistant pre-k teacher), I wanted to experience that beyond just a college job. Anyways, every once in a while, I would be asked to relieve one of the infant room workers for their lunch break. Playing with babies and experiencing their firsts - the heartbreak I felt for the moms, that was the moment I knew I WANTED to stay home with my future children.


You combine that experience with my experience of loss and little memory of just being with my parents, this drove my desire even more to be there for every moment with my children especially those early years. 


Fast-forward, add some kids later and Anthony gets sick. Really sick. Our life is turned upside down trying to figure out what is going on. This experience takes me back to three year old Stormie who is about to turn four whose dad dies two weeks before her birthday. My daughter is two years old and in about two weeks (at that time) will turn three as her daddy is in the hospital with some unknown infection. The PTSD and anxiety was awful although I hid it very well from most.


Then we add on no income, unstable job situation for Anthony which leads to him being wrongfully terminated a few months later (he was on sick leave for 12 weeks). He found a new job a few weeks later and within a month back in the hospital with a different major infection.


Amidst this, I decided to return to nursing school because between education and nursing, it allowed the most flexible schedule for me to still be home with my kids during the day and work nights and weekends as needed whenever Anthony gets sick. Therefore I got registered to update a few pre-reqs.


Here we are a year later with everything done, prepared and ready to apply for my BSN program and I decided not to do it. 


I cannot afford to miss anymore time with my kids while they are this little because I am driven by fear. 


These past few weeks as I have dug in, I realized nursing school was my way to control and this backup plan I created became what I was putting my trust in instead of God. A good thing (a backup plan) turned into a god thing and that’s when I ultimately decided it was best to step back, refocus my trust and faith in God and His care for me whatever His plan may be in our life. This decision also allows me the freedom to truly enjoy this time I want to have with my children as they will only be this little once.


If I should have learned anything these past 3.5 years dealing with a layoff, selling our home, sickness, wrongful termination, and more sickness mixed with everything else on our plates in between, it is that God provides. 


The people God has placed in our lives, this city we settled in as a compromise, the church we “randomly” found from a google search, was all preordained by God. If He provided for us through all those dark and murky waters, He will continue to provide for us no matter what the future looks like.


Therefore I am CHOOSING to stay home with my children and actively work on trusting God with the details.


I am not JUST a stay at home mom. It is my privilege and joy to spend the days with my babies. I want to soak up every moment with my favorite human beings and build memories that will last a lifetime.


I encourage you to rephrase the way you look at and speak about YOUR choices, whatever they may be, in a positive way. Don’t devalue yourself.

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stormieariel
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Thursday, March 29, 2018

Shopping with Two under Two + Four Month Update

Shopping with Two under Two + Four Month Update


This post was created in partnership with Binxy Baby but all thoughts and opinions are of my own.

For about four months, I had two babies under two and now that my oldest turned two not much has really changed, haha. It's still the same craziness over here but I did figure out some tips and tricks to make shopping with two kiddos under the age of two easier.

Go shopping after naptime

The most important tip is to go after naptime. Seriously. If you attempt to run an errand before naptime, one of two things will happen or possibly both. They will get extremely fussy during your errand making it the most frustrating experience ever or they will fall asleep in the car and think that 5 minute catnap was enough for them and refuse to nap once you get home making the rest of the day even more frustrating and everyone on the verge of tears so just trust me. Errands after a nap. I mean unless you like waking up early and can quickly get everyone fed and out the door but that's not me. I like my mornings slow and not rushed when I can help it.

Park near the cart corral

Once you arrive to your store of choice, find a parking spot near the cart corral that way you can grab a cart immediately and don't have to worry about carrying/dragging two (or more) kids and a diaper bag across the parking lot to get inside of the store. This not only makes it easier for you to unload everyone straight into a cart but also safer as I'm sure most toddlers think they are big boys and girls and don't always want to hold mommy's hand and will pull away while mom is carrying baby hulk at the wrong time. No? Just me? Also this makes it easier to unload all the things inside the car as well as the kids and return the cart to it's proper place because I don't know about you but it annoys the heck out of me when people leave the carts in the middle of parking lots especially when a parking lot is uneven and there is a runaway cart that hits your car. Just be courteous of other people guys.

Use a Binxy Baby

Ah. The Binxy Baby. I always get so many compliments and questions every time we are out and about with baby Anthony just chilling in his shopping cart hammock. The Binxy Baby fits most standard grocery store carts and it can also hold a car seat so if your babe fell asleep in their car seat you don't have to worry about disturbing them, just strap the car seat onto the Binxy Baby. The Binxy Baby is able to support up to 50 pounds in weight and has been safety tested so depending on the size of your baby, the Binxy can be used for babies approximately up to 6-8 months depending on when your little one starts to sit up on their own.

Pack a snack for the toddler

Lastly, no matter how much you perfectly timed your shopping trip, the toddler will get restless and want to run all over the store but you came with reinforcements: snacks. I personally always keep an extra snack or two inside my diaper bag but before errands I make sure I have more then one on hand and I will hand them to Sophia when I see that antsiness happening. I also give it to her BEFORE she goes haywire because I don't want her thinking she is getting the snack because she threw a fit or else she is going to think it's okay to have a tantrum every time she wants a snack so make sure you are strategic on when you give it to your toddler and what behavior you may be enforcing. You also don't want to give them the snack as soon as you are in the store because you will be cut on time and no longer have the distraction they needed for the last leg of your shopping trip so be sure you are reading your toddlers cues so you can step in with the snack reinforcement at the right time.

Four Month Update


After much experimenting, it finally dawned on us to use the Ollie swaddle and DockATot for naps just as we do for bedtime and man has naptime been a night and day difference. Baby Anthony is finally starting to come around and take daily naps and that makes this momma happy and feeling functional again haha. Bedtime was going so well for the first two months and around three months it has been a yo-yo. We would have amazing nights for a few nights and then not so good ones but then back to amazing so I assumed it was a growth spurt but now it's seeming to be more of a norm of having multiple wake up calls at night so I'm trying to figure out the trigger and I'm thinking it's daddy going back to work. I do have some tricks up my sleeve to get baby Anthony back on track for night time sleep thanks to the Baby Whisperer book.

Although baby Anthony first rolled from his back to his tummy around two months, he really perfected it this month and now won't stay off his tummy! He even loves rolling back to his back as well and he also can rotate in a full circle while doing tummy time. It seems like he is ready to just start crawling but I'm not sure I am ready for that.

Four Month Stats
Weight: ???
Height: ???
Head Circumference: ??

Firsts
Roll from tummy to back

Loves
mommy
daddy
being held
smiling

Hates
dirty diapers
waiting to eat

What I Want to Remember
His happy smiles & huge grins
his contagious laughter

Do you go shopping with your children or do you wait until daddy is home? Or have you given into curbside assistance and/or home delivery? 



If you found this post helpful or know someone who would, please share it! I have made this pinnable image below to make it easier to share and pin!!


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stormieariel
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Monday, March 12, 2018

Why I Love Baby-wearing + Three Month Update

Why I Love Baby-wearing + Three Month Update


This post was created in partnership with LILLEbaby but all thoughts and opinions are of my own.

Have we been spoiled with daddy's presence these last seven months (for those of you unaware, Anthony was laid off back in July and while it definitely was stressful financially, it has been a blessing as well). Daddy started working again a few weeks ago though so that leaves this momma outnumbered two to one so A LOT of baby-wearing has been happening even more around here because simply put baby-wearing makes mom life easier especially on the days I have two extra kids (I babysit a two year old and my 4 month old niece as a side hustle).

When I first had Sophia, she wanted to be held constantly and also had colic so you can imagine how difficult those first few months were. I did try baby-wearing so I could do simple house chores but honestly the carrier I had was cheaply made and did not support her hips properly so I stopped baby-wearing and tried again when she was about 8 months old and fell in love with it at that point and knew from then on I needed a high quality carrier.

Side Note: I know baby Anthony looks miserable in the photos below but he really does enjoy being worn, haha. These photos were all taken during the difficult time-frame of refusing naps.


I currently own two LILLEbaby carriers - the Complete Organic and the Ring Sling -  and we are in love. The Ring Sling we tend to use around our house or at family and friends' house for shorter carry (just a personal preference). For us, it's more of a quick way to get baby Anthony in a carrier that isn't bulky. The material is linen making it extremely lightweight and perfect for warmer weather but it takes a lot of usage to break it in. We struggled with it the first few weeks due to how stiff it was but throwing it in the washer and dryer has helped make it a little easier to work with it.

Side Note: I also used the Ring Sling as a maternity support belt to help with some back pain I was experiencing towards the end of my pregnancy.
The Complete is hands down my favorite and gets the most use. I wear this one if we are out running errands or if we are taking the kids out for an extended period of time like a day at the zoo or children's museum. The best part is, I can go back and forth between wearing Sophia and baby Anthony when I use the Complete.
As I mentioned in my previous post, we don't really allow our children to CIO and this is mostly when baby-wearing comes in handy for us because there are days, lots of days, where baby Anthony refuses to nap and refuses to be put down all together. Nine times out of ten, he will gladly stay snug to my chest in the carrier. If he is over exhausted we preference the Complete as I can clip up the head support and even button the shade to block out light to help him get a good nap in or even nurse in public. Baby-wearing makes discreetly breastfeeding hands free in public a breeze. As I mentioned in our New York post, baby wearing made it so easy to travel and sight-see since I was able to nurse Sophia while she was still in her carrier.

So really this just goes back to my main point that baby-wearing just makes mom life easier especially if you have multiple children.

Three Month Update

This guy turned three months old January 24th but I have been so behind on his updates as it has been quite the adjustment of having two extra kids in our house and Anthony going back to work however we are finally getting into a good routine so I hope to have baby Anthony's updates as close to his monthly "birth" dates as possible because man is our big guy constantly growing and I am having a hard time keeping track of his milestones! Around three months he was wearing 6-12 months clothes (now as a four month old, size 6 months no longer fits) and he likes sitting in our lap like a big boy. He is so huge that it's hard to cuddle him like a newborn but he prefers looking out at everything anyways so it works.

Three Month Stats
Weight: ???
Height: ???
Head Circumference: ??

Firsts


Loves
mommy
daddy
being held

Hates
dirty diapers
waiting to eat
naps

What I Want to Remember
how his clothes are constantly shrinking or he is just growing way too fast, ahaha
when he hears our voice he quickly jerks his head to find us

Do you baby-wear your infant and/or toddler? What is your favorite type of carrier to baby-wear? Did you have a hard time finding the time to document your second (or third, etc) child's milestones?

If you found this post helpful or know someone who would, please share it! I have made this pinnable image below to make it easier to share and pin!!



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stormieariel
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Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Why We Won't Let our Children Cry It Out

Why We Won't Let our Children Cry It Out


I figured since I shared some sleep tips that help make bedtime easier with a newborn I would go into detail of why we won't do cry it out (CIO) with our children.

Note: this is in no way of judgement for families who use the CIO method. Do what works best for your family and your sanity. We are all just trying to stay afloat with this parenting gig.
We did briefly try CIO with Sophia and it was brutal for us and didn't feel natural. Sophia also suffered from colic the first few months of her life so her crying often times were for reasons she didn't even know herself. It was a tough season and I spoke on it a little in this post. Sophia also was not a good sleeper, she woke up multiple times to nurse during the night until she was about 14 months old. Nap-times were also difficult and required this lengthy routine to get her down but looking back I wouldn't trade giving her all those extra cuddles and nursing. She needed me even if it was hard and exhausting (and it was) but I chose to be there for her in whatever way she needed and it did not affect her ability to self-soothe or sleep on her own as so many people "warned" me would happen as she got older. 

At 15 months old, we transitioned Sophia to her own room and it was so smooth and seamless. She maybe cried all of 3 minutes before going to sleep. By 16 months, we were able to put her in her crib while she was still awake for nap and bed time and she would lay there and talk to herself or play for a little bit before falling asleep (this still happens to this day at 22 months). Sophia always wakes up in the happiest of moods and just starts playing and talking in her crib while she patiently waits for us to get her. I share all this to show you can successfully transition your older child to their own room without using the CIO method. I truly believe that by answering to Sophia's call as much as I was physically able to and nursing her on demand is what made her feel confident and secure to be in her own room because she knows mommy will be there when she needs it.
Besides CIO not feeling natural to us, I also read a Facebook post about orphan newborns, you can read it here. I cried in heartbreak when I read it and from then on I knew I could never do CIO especially as someone who lost their parents as a child. I know what it is like not having my biological mom and dad not be there as they both died before I was even out of elementary school (I had a great mom that raised me so don't get me wrong here but it still isn't quite the same). 

Now this doesn't mean my children never cry. They do cry, a lot in fact, haha. But I would never intentionally make them have to soothe themselves, if they need me I will be there. Sometimes I am not able to get to them right away because balancing two kids and a house is tough but I talk to them and let them know mommy is here and will get them in a moment or I sing to them even if I can barely her myself think because of how loud their cries may be but they will always know mommy is here to comfort them whenever they need and as best as I physically can in that moment. So if CIO doesn't feel natural to you or you just do not want to go that route, don't feel pressured to. You are not spoiling your child, you are giving them the confidence they need that you will be there for them.
Did you feel pressured to CIO because of the old wives tales of spoiling your child? Or did CIO work for your family? What method did(do) you use to help your child(ren) have better sleeping habits?




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stormieariel
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