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Thursday, February 7, 2019

Let’s Chat! | Growth During Struggles


If your new around here, you probably don’t know this but I’m not the typical blogger. I randomly take breaks from blogging because, well life happens. Real life. Don’t get me wrong I love blogging. I love writing. I love forming the connections I have made through this digital life but I have priorities. Or at least I try to because let’s me honest we all get sucked into the scrolling mindlessly through social media while life happens around you. However, I’m breaking that cycle. I won’t allow it to hold power over me anymore of having to see every single post ever posted by this person or that person or needing to know who is doing what at this moment in time.

Now hear me out, there is absolutely nothing wrong with checking in on your favorite blogger or social media influencer but when that profile or person gets the best of you instead of the people in your real life, in your home. There’s a problem. And that’s me. Hi, my name is Stormie and I am a social mediaholic. I love catching up with people on Instagram but I hate having phone conversations. I love posting and watching instastories but I’m actually an introvert and don’t like talking in person unless we are already close friends.

So this social media break has happened for quite a few reasons. The main reason was the Lord was speaking to me. I have always wondered when people would say “The Lord spoke to me” or I’m following the Lord’s command and I always wondered like how? Did you hear a big booming voice “Stormie get off social media” with an echo? Well no. It was subtle and over time. The Lord spoke to me through books I was reading, through people I was following on social media, conversations I was having in my bible study group, etc. There was a common theme being brought to my attention across all areas of my life and it felt so strong that I knew it was coming from the Lord.

Short back story, my husband was laid off (I spoke about it some here and here) and we were dealing with unemployment for 6+ months and now underemployment. Around the same time I’m hearing the Lord speak to me, Anthony and I both also feel the Lord telling us it was finally time to say goodbye to our house. In hindsight, we were wrestling with the Lord for months and months before this without realizing it (or wanting to realize) so when we did make the decision to list our house for sell, we were at such peace because we knew it was the Lord’s will.

So the time-frame for us to be out of the house lined up with the holidays which I thought taking the whole month of December off would be the best because one it would give us time to get all moved in and settled and secondly what perfect time to create a new rhythm and routine with my children. I was also planning to use this time to intentionally plan what my life would look like on social media and how I needed to create boundaries and balance my priorities on my spiritual life and my family life first.


But alas, the Lord had other plans and other familial obligations popped up that took majority of my attention in December and half of January. Now that things have slowed down on that front, I have been trying to find my way back to my initial mission. Getting the fire back in me of being intentional with my spiritual life and my kids. Creating a new rhythm and routine with a purpose. And eventually get back to blogging with a game plan.

As of right now, I have been checking in on Facebook and Instagram every so often but not being active much other then selling stuff on marketplace. I have felt I wanted to wait until I was in a good place in my spiritual life and my family life. It’s not to say my faith has been wavering, in fact it’s quiet the opposite.

During this last year and a half, this is the most dependent and closest I have felt to the Lord. I feel like when everything was going great, it was so easy to put God on the back burner and say a prayer here and there. Head to church on Sunday’s, attend bible study and go through the motions all while neglecting to ever open up my Bible. My God has shown me so much and has taught me so much in trusting in Him, leaning not on my own understanding when things aren’t going the way I planned. I try so hard to control so much out of fear and I have learned that’s not okay.

I’m not saying you should never make plans or goals, it’s great to plan but it’s also very important to remain flexible because we don’t have the whole picture. God does. And guess what. His plans are so far better for our lives then we could have ever imagined. The good and the bad.

Side story about the “bad”: I do not know the reason I had to grow up without my biological parents (in case your unaware, my parents died when I was really young and my aunt who I call mom raised me) but what I do know is I would not be the mother I am today to my children if it wasn’t for that significant lost in my life as a child. For that I am thankful that I am more in tune to the needs of my children. I am far from the perfect mother but I am proud of the mother I am. No one could ever take that confidence away from me. That confidence comes from the “bad hand” I was dealt and honestly, looking my children in their faces the way I do, there is not one thing I would change in my life that lead me to this point and that is thanks to God.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28 ESV

What is something you have felt the Lord speak to you lately? Do you try to plan or control your life out of fear? How has your childhood shaped you into the parent you are (or plan to be)?
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