As I played with the words to share my decision, I realized this may be a very unpopular decision especially in our modern society with high value for career minded women. However I want to be very clear:

I am not JUST a stay at home mom. 

I CHOOSE to be a stay at home mom. 

We make sacrifices in our lifestyle that allow me to spend this time with our children and I wouldn’t want it any other way. You don’t have to understand it and it’s okay if you choose differently for your family and if you don’t have the choice, my heart goes out to you.

I don’t know about you but I process things better with details. I like to know the overall picture which gives me a better understanding so let’s rewind a bit.

My first few years of college, I worked in childcare and ultimately changed my major from nursing to education right when I was about to start the actual nursing program. I loved teaching and being there with these kiddos as they learned and discovered something new (I was an assistant pre-k teacher), I wanted to experience that beyond just a college job. Anyways, every once in a while, I would be asked to relieve one of the infant room workers for their lunch break. Playing with babies and experiencing their firsts - the heartbreak I felt for the moms, that was the moment I knew I WANTED to stay home with my future children.

You combine that experience with my experience of loss and little memory of just being with my parents, this drove my desire even more to be there for every moment with my children especially those early years. 

Fast-forward, add some kids later and Anthony gets sick. Really sick. Our life is turned upside down trying to figure out what is going on. This experience takes me back to three year old Stormie who is about to turn four whose dad dies two weeks before her birthday. My daughter is two years old and in about two weeks (at that time) will turn three as her daddy is in the hospital with some unknown infection. The PTSD and anxiety was awful although I hid it very well from most.

Then we add on no income, unstable job situation for Anthony which leads to him being wrongfully terminated a few months later (he was on sick leave for 12 weeks). He found a new job a few weeks later and within a month back in the hospital with a different major infection.

Amidst this, I decided to return to nursing school because between education and nursing, it allowed the most flexible schedule for me to still be home with my kids during the day and work nights and weekends as needed whenever Anthony gets sick. Therefore I got registered to update a few pre-reqs.

Here we are a year later with everything done, prepared and ready to apply for my BSN program and I decided not to do it. 

I cannot afford to miss anymore time with my kids while they are this little because I am driven by fear. 

These past few weeks as I have dug in, I realized nursing school was my way to control and this backup plan I created became what I was putting my trust in instead of God. A good thing (a backup plan) turned into a god thing and that’s when I ultimately decided it was best to step back, refocus my trust and faith in God and His care for me whatever His plan may be in our life. This decision also allows me the freedom to truly enjoy this time I want to have with my children as they will only be this little once.

If I should have learned anything these past 3.5 years dealing with a layoff, selling our home, sickness, wrongful termination, and more sickness mixed with everything else on our plates in between, it is that God provides. 

The people God has placed in our lives, this city we settled in as a compromise, the church we “randomly” found from a google search, was all preordained by God. If He provided for us through all those dark and murky waters, He will continue to provide for us no matter what the future looks like.

Therefore I am CHOOSING to stay home with my children and actively work on trusting God with the details.

I am not JUST a stay at home mom. It is my privilege and joy to spend the days with my babies. I want to soak up every moment with my favorite human beings and build memories that will last a lifetime.

I encourage you to rephrase the way you look at and speak about YOUR choices, whatever they may be, in a positive way. Don’t devalue yourself.

Well hello whoever is still hanging around. I thought I would start posting more often after my last post but alas I have been preoccupied with house projects and adjusting to a new routine here at the house. We have been in such a good rhythm the last few weeks even amidst the current circumstances.

As y'all know Anthony and I have been on this yo-yo unemployed/underemployed life for 10 months now and we have had so many people in our life help us along the way to make this time a tad easier although the only thing that would make this easier would be a stable income (just being honest). Often times people do ask how can they help and maybe it's pride or maybe it's not wanting to be a burden or maybe a mix of both but it is hard just saying what you need so I decided to put a list together of the ways you can come alongside a family you may know that is struggling with unemployment or underemployment and help them during this difficult time.

1. Monetary donation 

We were blessed at the beginning of this journey by a family that gave us a monetary donation and we held on to it until we absolutely needed to use it on bills. This is honestly the biggest way you can help someone although you know the family best and know if they would be wise with this donation or not. If you feel they would spend this unwisely, maybe pay a bill for them yourself as in you call the company and give the account number and payment.

2. Food

There are so many subscription boxes out for everything including meals so gifting a one time (or reoccurring) meal box to a family in need would be an amazing blessing. You could even consider preparing a meal yourself and dropping it off to the family to avoid high cost on yourself (this is also a great idea for families welcoming new children either by birth or adoption, I also plan to share ways to help a family with a new baby/child in the future so stay tuned for that as well). 

3. Gift cards

Provide gift cards from a local grocery store (possibly one that also has a gas station). This will allow the family to get food as needed, household items like toilet paper, laundry soap, etc., or even gas for their vehicle.

4. Diapers/Wipes

If there are young children in the family consider donating diapers and wipes to them (if they cloth diaper ask what type of detergent they use and donate that to them). Also consider donating menstrual items for the young girls and women in the family or teaching them about menstrual cups and cloth pads that can be reused each cycle (I also plan to discuss this in the future further).

5. Clothing

Again if they have young children, they grow out of things extremely fast so consider offering them your children's hand me downs or even buying clothes from a second hand store (see my tips for thrift shopping children's clothes here). Helping a family in need doesn't have to be expensive.

6. Pray

And I mean really pray for them. In our society, we easily say "I'll pray for you" or "We are praying" and never do or my favorite and unrealistic phrase "claim it in the name of Jesus and it is yours" as if Jesus is a genie and we rubbed his lamp for three wishes. But really truly pray for them as you pray for your own family and your own needs, pray that God will build their trust and faith in Him, that God will be glorified in their struggles and that they will cast their worries onto Jesus and God will lead and guide them on their real life scary decisions that need to be made.

This will probably be one of the most vulnerable posts I write. I have debated sharing this part of our life in my public social media life because I do not want pity at all (pride much?) however the longer we are in this season, the harder it is and if I can help just one other person or family who may be on this same journey then it would be worth sharing. I briefly mentioned Anthony was back working but the contract ended much sooner then anticipated so we are back at square one except this time we don't have the security of unemployment since it ended a few days before he was offered the contract position. When we asked for an extension for unemployment, he was declined because Texas Workforce Commission is out of budget from extending unemployment to the numerous Hurricane Harvey victims who are also out of work. So it has been 9 months of the unemployed life and the longer we do not have a steady substantial income, the more assistance we need (obviously).

Over these last few months, I have been doing research as well as friends and family sharing different assistance programs that are out there and offered not only by our government but also local and/or national organizations so I wanted to compile a list of all the programs I know about and a little bit about what they offer. Some will be local to me (Houston area) while others are national and you will just need to find the location in your area.

Food Assistance

Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) - nutrition assistance to eligible, low-income individuals and families.

Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) - The Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) provides Federal grants to States for supplemental foods, health care referrals, and nutrition education for low-income pregnant, breastfeeding, and non-breastfeeding postpartum women, and to infants and children up to age five who are found to be at nutritional risk.

Eat On Feets - a network where families can share their breastmilk in a safe and ethical manner.

Diaper Assistance

Share the Love Program - low-income families who receive assistance from programs like WIC and TANF may be able to receive a set of cloth diapers — for free.

The Diaper Foundation - Houston area assistance for disposable diapers

Cash Assistance

Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) - from what I can gather on the application process is you are given cash assistance either on a monthly basis or a one time lump sum payment. I will keep you all updated if I learn more based on approval otherwise feel free to comment if you know more about the TANF program.

I am sure there are numerous other programs so if you know of any that I did not mention, please feel free to share in the comments below so if anyone else needs more assistance it can easily be found all in one place. Even though this is a really tough season, it has been amazing seeing the ways the Lord has provided for our NEEDS and the people he has used in our lives. We have seen how far he has carried us thus far and know he will continue to provide for us.

Five Month Update