Since before Anthony and I got married, we wanted children and we tried for years with countless negative pregnancy tests. Many sleepless nights of conversations wondering what our future children will be like and if we would even be able to have children. Starting a family seemed so far away with each negative test until that one turned positive.
We really started imagining what this little person would be like, what parenthood would entail. But I never realized how hard it would be in these first few months. I knew about the frequent feeding, the loss of sleep, the endless diaper changes but I wasn't warned about the endless crying, at least it seems like it's endless.
However, that crying means she's here. This child we dreamed of, we talked about, we planned and tried to have for years is here. Yes, she is needy and I am having to sacrifice more of myself then I ever realized but before I know it, she won't need me.
There will be a time when she no longer needs to hear my heartbeat to calm her.
There will be a time when she no longer needs to feel me (and smell me) laying next to her.
There will be a time when she no longer needs me to hold her.
There will come a time when she is so interested in exploring the world around her that I can't keep her still long enough to hold and hug her.
There will come a time when she leaves the nest to start her own family.
So in this tough season of being a new mom to a newborn, I want to savor every little moment including the hard ones because there will come a time when she will no longer need me.
I love you sweet girl.
