Wondering if I soaked in enough time with her. 

Was I truly intentional those first 19 months of being just her mommy? 

Was this postpartum depression? 

Do all moms have this way of thinking when having two under two? 

Or was my life circumstances (parents dying) playing a role in my guilt of not spending enough time with either?

Those few weeks were so long as I really considered what I was feeling and my mood got worse the longer I kept these feelings to myself. I finally opened up to Anthony and told him how I was feeling and the guilt I was having and wondering if I was suffering from postpartum depression and he was such an encouragement to me in reassuring me and comforting me.

Side note: Anthony has always been the one afraid he couldn't love or wouldn't be able to divide his attention for each child the same whereas I'm all let's have 20 kids and we will love them equally and now I am the one who was struggling with wondering if my time was enough with just two. It's funny how that worked out and he ended up having to lift me up.

Since that talk, I have been even more intentional with my time with Sophia and baby Anthony and trying to give myself grace because I can't do it all even if I want to. My mood has also greatly improved and I don't have that guilty feeling hanging over my head anymore. I'm able to enjoy baby Anthony and all his sweet little baby coos.

One Month Update

My big guy is the chunkest thing. He started off wearing size 1 diapers right away and after about 2 boxes is now in size 2 and we are thinking we may have to move him up to size 3 already! He also skipped newborn clothes altogether and went straight to 3 months and even now some 3 months are getting too small so moving up to 6 months has started happening at 6 weeks old!

This guy also started trying to hold his head up right away which we think is because he has such a huge neck. Well this guy is just huge all over who am I kidding, haha. He has even started trying to scoot when doing tummy time, like what the what? He is really trying to speed ahead in milestones all at once and mommy just needs him to slow down.


His sleep has been somewhat of a struggle this first month which honestly is to be expected since we are all adjusting to this new way of life. The first few weeks, he took really good naps during the day and decided to have parties at night and we quickly knew we needed to help him change that because when you have more than 1 kid, there is no sleeping when the baby sleeps. Once we finally got him sleeping pretty well at night (it only took about a day or two for him to catch on), this guy decided we wouldn't take naps during the day. He would only take one nap during the day and luckily he would do that at Sophia's nap time so we got some type of break from both kids. Although his nap times during the day were hit or miss, his bedtime was amazing. He was sleeping from around 8-11 pm, nurse back to sleep until 2 am, nurse, sleep until 4 or 5 am, nurse, sleep until around 7 or 8 am and up for the day so about every 2-3 hours. He quickly dropped the 11 pm feeding when I started to dream feed him at that time. I only did it twice so now at 6 weeks old, he is in bed around 8 or 8:30 pm, he wakes up to nurse around 2 am, again around 5 or 6 am, again around 8 or 9 am and wakes for the day around 10 or 11 am. This is on average, there are still nights were he may wake up one extra time or his day may start at 9 am instead but overall he is a much better sleeper at night then Sophia was as an infant. The last week daytime naps have been very consistent and going good so hoping that will continue.


So my biggest lesson with being a mom with two under two is to work on my time management. There is so much going on and so much to do but my kiddos come first. Dishes will always be there, the floor will always need to be cleaned but they are only this little for so long. Therefore, I want to make the most of my time with them and when they are napping at the same time or playing independently, I want to be productive with that time instead of mindless scrolling on social media.





 Photos by LaPalomento Photography

Visit a pumpkin patch

I took Sophia to a few pumpkins patches last year around here at local churches but we also took her to a local farm that had a legit pumpkin patch and you get to choose your pumpkin from the field. It was the perfect opportunity to do a mini fall photo shoot with the hay and tractor and pumpkins but also this particular farm had a corn maze, petting zoo and a ton of games, slides and activities for kids to enjoy. This is definitely one that will be on our fall bucket list every year.

Take family photos

We decided to take our first family photos when Sophia was old enough to allow her personality to shine through on the camera which just happened to be in the fall last year but it worked out perfectly as we were able to use those photos for our Christmas cards. I loved how they came out and since baby boy will be arriving sometime in October, it'll be the perfect time for us to do an updated family photo and to use for Christmas cards again.

Carve/decorate pumpkins

We have done this in previous years with our nephews but Sophia was too young last year to carve or decorate pumpkins. Lately she has been loving stickers so our plan for this year is to get her a mini pumpkin and allow her to decorate it with stickers and maybe markers.

Go to a county or state fair

Anthony and I both grew up going to our county fair from our hometown and it is small enough to where it isn't overwhelming for a toddler although the county we live in now still has a pretty amazing county fair as well but for sentimental reasons we will probably only be taking our kids to our hometown county fair that way they can also enjoy it with their grandparents.

Read books about fall

I love books and I love that Sophia shows such a great interest in books therefore I always try to get her a book or two about the current season or any upcoming holidays or even as souvenirs from places we visit. This fall, I plan to read her Thank You, Dear God which is the perfect board book for infants to 4 year olds on teaching them how to be thankful. Another good book I debated on was One Little, Two Little, Three Little Pilgrims as this book is helpful in teaching counting and giving a little history lesson of Thanksgiving in a fun way but it is aimed more towards 3-8 year olds so this book will be on our list for next fall.

In my defense, a lot has happened since we got back from our family vacation to New York. First there was the holidays then I started babysitting on top of planning my cousin's daughter's first birthday party, then I planned Sophia's first birthday party and that's about the time pregnancy took over my body and I haven't had much energy since, haha. I debated waiting to do our trip recap as one year anniversary reminisce type thing but I will be almost in labor at that point and will probably still never get around to it which is why it brings us to today.